If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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