Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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