I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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