Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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