i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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