she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize