I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Terrible idea I love it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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