im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize