Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize