haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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