don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
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I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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