i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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