So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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