She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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