What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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