I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize