I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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