im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize