I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
even my farts smell like vagina
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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