i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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