One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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