butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize