I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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