Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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