I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I pour the whiskey from now on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize