he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize