what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize