Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
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hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
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Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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