Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
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when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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