Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
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idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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