So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize