ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize