is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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being pregnant is like rehab
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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