butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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