Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize