How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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