he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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