Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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