I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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