I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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