OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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