I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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