508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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