glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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