it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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