if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
3pm strippers are depressing
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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