And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Randomize