i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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