this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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