i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
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stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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